Let It Be Me

"The essence of the like of you is usually inherent in the name."

-Goethe

Yesterday I said, "That girl gives Brittany's everywhere a bad name." And then I got to thinking... What if other Brittany's out there are saying that about me?! I mean, it's not the most ridiculous notion, by any stretch of the imagination. 

I find it compelling to think that all that I say and do can contribute to making a name for myself. Not in the wordly/successful/Us Weekly/TMZ/Wall Street kind of sense, but in the making-my-name-the-most-exquisite-word-to-grace-the-English-language kind of sense. Though I know that's not ever going to be the case. As Anne Shirley so despondently lamented: "I know I'll never be angelically good." And neither will I. But, if there were adjectives within my human grasp to which I could aspire, what would they be? If in my eulogy, someone were to sugar the memory of me with word candy, what oh what would it taste like?

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not as vitriolic as I might appear to be. No, no. I have just as many girly fibers as the next lady. And, though I find sardonic pleasure in exploiting my somewhat unrefined traits, it is not {just} these for which I wish to be remembered. No, indeed. When I hope, I hope emphatically. When I enjoy, I enjoy entirely. When I feel, I feel deeply. And when I love, I love absolutely with everything I have. Those quirks are just as real-ly a part of me as are the not-so-becoming ones (lazy, selfish, and my very favorite courtesy of my most recent male exploit, "impossible". Screw you, man.). 

Because L.M.T.'ly is a happy, hopeful place most of the time, normally I would choose not to focus on those somewhat acrimonious descriptors and only spotlight those aspects of my character most desirable. But in order to be completely honest with myself, I must acknowledge all facets of Brittanyness for which I'm going to be remembered. To do this, please allow me to employ that marvelous first-grade tool, the acrostic poem. (Good to know my seven years of college to teach ABC's finally paid off, eh?) In knowing my ins-and-outs, here's what I hope to be remembered for; the good, the bad, and the ugly:

B -  brave, beautiful (gosh I'm needy), bohemian, beneficial, bitchy, brunette, brilliant, brutish, blessed

R -  righteous, romantical, ridiculous, real, reckless, respectful, respected, resplendent, rude, reflective

I - irreplaceable, intelligent, interesting, irrational, inspirational, important, irresistible, imaginative, intriguing

T - tender, talkative, temptress, trustworthy, tormentor, tough, tidy

T - thoughtful, thrilling, thankful, theatrical, therapeutic, thick-skinned 

A - able, appreciative, articulate, authentic, absurd, addictive, amusing, affectionate, affordable, alive, alluring, ardent, annoying 

N - needy, nurturing, natural, necessary, naughty

Y - yours (to those people, places and things I loved, most absolutely)

So what is in a name? We give substance to our names through the living of our lives. We define our names, we give them meaning, because of who we are. How we execute our hopes, measure our triumphs, examine our pains and gratify our joys, garnish our thoughts, employ our virtues, hone our vices, etc.- that is how we distinguish ourselves from others with our namesake; that is how we make our names meaningful. We "neglect not the gift that is in [us]" and by so doing, create a name for ourselves unlike any other. So what if others employ the same phonemic stream of letters to identify themselves as I do? Brittany for them does not mean Brittany for me. For better or worse.

 Peace and Love.